My experience of the National Health Service

The minor operation is over and done with, and I made it through without a hint of MRSA, DVT, PMT or even BLT. It was a very swift process, I went down to theatre at 16.30 and was awake again at 17.45. In that time, they had anaesthetised me, removed the old plaster, moved my bone into place, secured it with wire and re-plastered me. Fast work, you'll agree.

The 36 hours I spent in North Tyneside General (That's Rake Lane, folks) were quite enlightening as it happens. The main thing I took from it all was something I already knew, and that's that NHS nurses do an incredible job in the face of serious adversity. Whatever they get paid isn't nearly enough.

On my first night I witnessed a nurse getting bitten and hit by an afflicted and confused old man. Such abuse (whether the patient knows it or not) is probably a regular occurence for most nurses, but they seem to bear it with extremely good grace, and carry out stomach-loosening tasks as a matter of course.

Anyway, that was late on Friday night. The rest of the evening was comfortable and hitch-free (and, from a personal point of view, not too painful, thankfully). I slept well, until around 5.30, when I was rudely awakened by the sound of a nurse trying to subdue her newest patient while attempting not to wake the ward up.

Said patient was a stereotype scrawny ratboy who had broken his foot badly, but wouldn't disclose how. He was ranting and raving that he needed, in turn, a cigarette, a hot drink, and something to eat. As he was nil by mouth, and staff weren't available to give him a smoking companion, these requests were turned down.

Predictably, he got louder and more aggressive in his demands, until eventually security guards had to come and calm him down. He was allowed to go for a cig to shut him up, though I'm sure it wasn't his laughable threats to 'waaaaak oot' that encouraged the staff to acquiesce.

Once he got his own way, he calmed down and stopped abusing the people he'd called cunts and heaven knows what else. As it turned out, he is an ex-heroin addict who is on large quantities of prescription drugs to stop his internal organs falling out or something. In spite of myself, I found myself waivering, and feeling sorry for the shite life he has, but there's still no forgiving the way he treated those trying to help him.

Though a lot of people don't feel it, we're immensely lucky in this country to get such dedicated and quality healthcare staff for free. If you know anyone who's a nurse, tell them they fucking rock