Well actually, I’ve never been happier, because, well you know why…
But I want to vent my frustration about driving. There are few tiny things about road that really nark me off. Firstly when the sun is going down, why do 95% of drivers insist on whacking on their head lights?!? Headlights are clearly designed to give visibility when you can’t see where you are going, which is quite obvs not the case at sun down. Use your flaming side lights you massive wetwillywipes!

Secondly FOG LIGHTS ARGH”!!21!11!!!!! why oh why do people use these? They barely add any extra light, but they certainly get all up in my eyes, sure it makes your car look a bit more beefy, but if you want a beefy car go into a phuqing field and ride a cow around, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of joy out of it, plus you have UDDERS!!! How amazing would it be to play with udders when driving, I like udders, well I think I do, they don’t look that cool, (well they do actually, with their 4 small willyshaped nippley teets and their bulbous source), but I’m assuming they are quite squishy and they give off milk, and unlike human milk, which doesn’t smell all that good, like yesterday I was in Sainsbury and this woman in front of me at the check outs with her wee baby, smelt quite a lot of lactation, which I’m sure would be wonderful if it was my own wife/mother of my wee child, in fact i'm blates gonna get my calcium hit from her :D, but I don’t want to smell another woman’s lactations while I’m salivating over my sausage roll. Quite literally as well, I had to throw half of it, as it was halfway digested before I even ate it. Why is that if you get saliva on your food before it goes in your mouth it tastes all yucky, but when it’s in your mouth the food is delectable?!?

Fish shaped bit thingymadooberies on cars! What are they Christians or something? Of the 4 or five stupid drivers I encountered on my night visit to Southampton 3 had blood-spattered (well actually the other definition of bluddy, which will probably be filtered out in my office) fish. What sort of a Christian, cuts in dangerously at the last minute at pretty high speed to a junction where everyone else is queuing? Or overtakes me at 90+ mph on a rush hour motorway which is pretty hench up busy and I saw 3 crashes on the last time I drove it, or tailgates me on at 80mph shaking his fist at me to get out of his way when I am just about to overtake? Go smack your bibles across your heads you nincompoops!!

The thing that narks me off most about all of these things is the inability to change other people’s behaviour. Whilst I’m sure that a third party’s perception of my driving would probably shame me from time to time, stupid little things which are pretty much all against the highway. Oh screw it I don’t really care, anyway, I listened to System of a Down thrice on my drive back this fair morn, and it was beautifully sunny and the two, hand in hand with other things, made the drive quite enjoyable. I love driving sometimes.