The Surprising Source Of Weekly Grammar Pedantry Award goes to... HEAT's letters' page, a regular source of chastisement for the grammatically disinclined. This week, a reader writes in to correct the unnecessary apostrophe in "Manolos".

The Getting To The Important Facts Award goes to... MORE, for its reporting of the does-Lindsay-love-ladies gossip. Not for pointing out what everyone else has, mind, but for keeping the most important aspect of the rumours - that Linds and Sam could tie the knot at Dollywood. That is taste.

The Sex And The City Dedication Award goes to... GRAZIA's exhaustive guide to Carrie's outfits in the movie. There are 40 pictures of 40 outfits, each broken down into who designed what. It looks like Top Trumps for crazy people. That's serious SATC love right there.

The All In The Line Of Duty Award goes to... MORE's Issy Sampson, for getting pissed, just to test out a brand new hangover-warder-offer, Alibi. "In the name of research, I thought I'd give this a try," she writes. Good work, lady.

The Looks Most Like A Primary School Textbook Award goes to... HEAT. Got any shades with that?

The Making The Biggest Fuss Over A Total Non-Story Award goes to... LOOK's Amy Winehouse cover. Her "secret pregnancy ordeal" is that she's been told by a doctor that "she may not be able to conceive any time soon". 1. That's obvious to anyone with eyes. 2. Unless she's going conjugal, she might have to wait until Blake Incarcerated is Blake Free To Go.

The YES PLEASE Award goes to... HEAT's interview with Nick and Margaret Apprentice, revealing that Margaret "is one of the few who enjoys [Lucinda's] clothes sense" she doesn't get the fuss over Alex and she'll never do Strictly Come Dancing. All that next to a Cilla Black interview. Died and gone to heaven.

The Mean-Spirited 'Celeb Diet Misery' Feature Of The Week goes to... NOW's 'Celeb Diet Misery' spread - quoting Claire from Steps admitting that she used to starve herself, then putting "fat failure" in the headline because she's a - shocka! - size 16, well, that's just nasty.

Headline Of The Week... HEAT's probably-not-been-seen-elsewhere-ever corker, "Fact: Alec Baldwin Can't Climb Railings". Next week: "Kiefer Sutherland Is Rubbish At Gates".

Headline Of The Week 2... GRAZIA's philosophy degree-like question, "What does fashion smell like?" (Apparently, Gap is "almondy").

The We Know People Who Fantasize About This Award goes to... HEAT, for getting Davina to dress up as a strict schoolmarm. Ooh, saucy.