1. Flags. Seriously, just fuck off
2. People who take their camping chairs out with them and sit in front of one stage all day (also see people who stay seated on the floor when a crowd is forming and then tut when people walk into them)
3. 'Wacky' men who wear women's dresses
4. 'Wacky' women who wear wedding dresses
5. Free hugs (thankfully, this seems exclusive to Reading)
What am I missing?
girls on shoulders?
i bet thats a cunt to stand directly behind. never had the pleasure myself.
On a related note:
6. People who put up umbrellas when watching a band and it starts to rain. Everyone else is making do with a hoodie, you fucking wankstain
Unless
there's a whole field of umbrellas and the singer can get them to move up and down in unison to the song, as I once saw Tom Vek manage. Perhaps that's where he went, he was kidnapped by a shady umbrella conglomerate.
^
Especially when their jeans drop down a bit, so you get a view of ass hair instead of the band.
*sometimes
It was amazing at latitude
some women did this on their boyfriends shoulders during the Arcade Fire, and everyone started yelling at them and then they got bottled surprisingly accurately.
you definitely could have phrased that better!
Edith Bowman
^
Lightspeed Champion
oh, you win
ha
You pretty much listed some of the bad things about Reading really...
oh, and id say Joe Whiley
you
beat me to it!
:D
scousers
Yeah,
then all we've gotta do is get rid of the crowds, shit beer, shit bands, bad weather and drinks at rip-off prices and maybe we've got something eh?
everyone but me
^ this
what selfish bastards we are, eh?
on a serious note, the only thing I don't like at festivals is rude people. if it wasn't for that, I'd always have an amazing time.
I don't remember ever having my view blocked by a flag.
Fuck knows why someone would want to lug one around all day, but are they really that bad?
Where do they
put them when they go for a poo?
Yes they are
it doesn't help you find your mates, it just helps me in not being able to see a thing.
1) Noodle stands (why are they ALWAYS grey?)
2) Precocious 16 year old Home Counties kids who have never been away from their parents before. (OMG Hugo, did you just see Charley throw a can of Lynx on that fire? It was sooooo random, Arabella and India were seriously impressed...LOLZ')
3) WAKKY!!!11 tee shirts which take a well known brand name's logo and subvert it slightly so as to create something mildly offensive.
Agree with 3)
All Wacky! tshirts.
In fact, anything WACKY at all, particularly stupid hats.
"Together We Can Lick Bush."
"BLiAR" etc. And the once-ubiqitous Ford--> 'Fuct' logo.
someone I know
bought a 'cocaine' (in the coca-cola font) t-shirt at Glasto last year with no hint of irony.
this year they had Carlsberg-style
"Glastonbury - Probably The Best Festival In The World."
Now that really is offensive!!!
Such 'wacky' t-shirts are a mainstay
of popular culture of the last 20 years. Banning them would be like banning said 'wacky' blokes in dresses, 'comedy' hats, festival catchphrases, passed out fatally sunburnt pissheads and the confirmation that the buzz band of the moment are shit live. Basically, the world would tumble from its axis and reality itself would implode.
"Does Anyone Know A Dealer Who Takes Plastic???"
All of these are awful.
:(
Those were actually the t shirts given to the workers in the bars
made by Carlsberg
fair enough - those poor bastards were volunteers as well
not sure they deserved that.
my friend had to wear one and..
was actually offered £50 off a member of the drunken, heaving crowd. She went to take it off, being hot anyway and her manager hated it.
2)
lol
at number 2, I think that generally is leeds festival this year, shame.
BBC coverage
no way
fucking hippies and free hugs
in before "fucking hippies" jokes
I wouldn't fuck hippies
they don't look too clean.
I will let you know
after I get back from Boosh Fes on the weekend :-S
I might have a very long list by then...
Flags
Girls on mate's shoulders in the crowd
People who crap anywhere but in the pan of the loo (I mean, seriously, why would you crap UP the side of a portable loo?)
Blokes who shout "Oi, Oi" at one another and are normally wearing a dress and think this is HILARIOUS
Thieving bastards who go with the express intention of going on the rob
Parents who ask you to keep the noise down for their kid's sake (it's a festival - you pays your money, you takes your chance)
The Hoosiers
Sulky girls/boys who do that mooning face and drag around after their boyfriends/girlfriends moaning about it being too crowded/hot/muddy (stay at home)
Women who wear their pristine Hunter wellies even when it's blazing hot and the ground is dusty dry
People who bring their own shitty tinny 'soundsystem' and play shitty tinny music out of it
I've always wondered
what sort of warped mind takes a shit on the floor of a portaloo? Are some people just really badly housetrained or just plain cunts?
When I went to V back in 1996 (I think)
someone took a dump in the corner of a shower cubical. It was icky...
Agreed about people
bringing music to the campsite
Those fucking Geldof girls.......
they're like an unattractive slutty version of the Olsen Twins, but without the business acumen.
Zane Lowe.
Wheres Steve Lamacq when you need him?
Oh, I hate him
He DJ'd when I saw Muse at Wembley last year. Awful.
the younger one
is remarkably unpleasant. i think she must have lived near where my girlfriend lived last year becasue i saw her around a lot. LOUD she ie
*is
Oh yeah
and cunty security guards who are just itching for a chance to rough up some poor kid. Prime suspects - Reading Festival security.
haha
i comepletley agree with the Skins public school types. So annoying with there random acts of supposedly funny antics.
^ this
and why do these types always have the same voice
for boys its this sort of gruff husky beer soaked rugger drawl
and the girls have that whiney finish the sentance with the sound of a question but its not a question thing.
these cunts are fucking everywhere at festivals, normally in some sort of matching dress. they are the indie equivilant of those sports science students that go to malaga with matching nickname t-shirts.
:D
so true. theres fucking loads of them at uni. just wanna kill them. and why are they all so attractive?!! (in a i hate everything about you but i still would way)
Whenever I see Glastonbury footage
the amount of flags makes me want to slay everyone there. And makes me feel a bit sorry for everyone stuck behind one of them. So yeah, that.
I also agree with free hugs.
I would like to add 'people who don't do exactly what I want them to'. Or 'the general public'.
anyone who i don't know
trying to talk to me
also, the community spirit
also, randomness (flags with sporks on ect
also, people who like ska punk
Guardian readers and the Afro Celt Sound system
You would prefer a festival full of Daily Mail or Telegraph readers?
agree on ACSS though
Ok, anyone who doesn't read the Mirror, Morning Star and Tribune.
...
THE HOLE WITH NO BOTTOM.
warm beer/cider
people who kick out all your guy ropes from your tent as they walk past.
Flags
expensive food
people who can shit anywhere but the hole in the middle of the toilet
WACKY blokes in wedding dresses
people who try to high five you as you walk past
that guy who gets to have the INCREDIBLY hott girls thighs wrapped around his head.
Juggling & Spinning things
especially that crap with two balls on the end of pieces fo string! arrggghhh
GO HOME, you are NOT ACTUAL Clowns!
banish these..
clever t shirts
police tape
queues
'boys on tour' groups of people
"People who crap anywhere but in the pan of the loo (I mean, seriously, why would you crap UP the si
this is something i've been trying to work out for years. just HOW do you manage to do that? christ.
a few years ago a leeds we had a group of guys who parked up next to us at midnight and set up their tent an everything. we all went to bed at two or three am. at five am we were awoken by them screaming at each other things like "ahhh...fucking hell andy, you've shit yoursen. it's all up the side of the tent" at which point we didn't wanna be near them. this continued for some time with things like "oh yeah but then i drank all that creme de menth and fell in that lake didn't i?" where was the lake!? either way, when they woke us up i thought they were dicks but with such stories of falling in lakes that didn't exist, crapping up the site of their own sleeping bags and being sat drinking thunderbird when we got up we grew to love them.
however, those nobends who just shouted "mon the dale!" for 4 days and took loads of coke next to us two years later ended up on my shitlist.
FLAGS!
Although they're acceptable in campsites, just not right in front of the middle of the fucking stage thank you.
all jugglers and diablo exponents
should be executed. that is all ye need to know.
anyone who wishes to describe how much better the festival was in the 70s/80s/90s
i just don't care
Glastonbury was much better in the 70s/80s/90s
wotevs grandad
pass me slippers will ya
QUEUES
cunts that think it's cool to steal your hat throw it in the mud and run off.
CUNTS.
People that throw
beachballs about when i'm trying to watch Band of Horses.
Glastonbury this year was basically a massive fancy dress barbeque
Carling
^^^^^
The t-shirts, God the t-shirts.
My favourites from Glastonbury:
1/ COPS TAKE DRUGS (??)
2/ CUNT (worn primary by cunts)
3/ NOBODY KNOWS I'M A LESBIAN
3
eveyrwhere at the moment.... fist shaking ensues
oooh i saw that one loads.
actually thought it was hilarious though. no?
Men in football shirts with bucket hats on
:( this so fucking much
blacks on stage
nothing ruins my festival experience more
or whites on stage......
if you're at WOMAD!
my god, can you believe someone
would want to sit on a camping chair ? outrageous.
People who shout "B*LL*CKS"
all night.
people who don't like ska punk.
Anyone with the surname Geldof
Anyone who puts blow up dolls on sticks and waves them about (T in the Park crowd)
The Pigeon Detectives
Noel Gallagher
Everyone thats posted in this thread
shouldn't go to festivals
people who dress up like they're from india
when they're white, middle class and have never been to india.
Well...
Number one has to be those groups of folk on the campsites that bring many instruments (almost all of which are acoustic guitars) and pitch their tents in a circle so they can sit all day and night with their backs to the rest of whats going on around them singing either their own gash songs or dire attempts at cover versions.
They are there when you leave the campsite in the morning and there when you return at night. Have they moved? Or did they really pay all that money just to sit and "soak up the vibe" without actually seeing any acts?
Someone should tell them actual holiday campsites don't have a burger-vans generator thrumming through the night and are substantially less flooded with shit. Maybe they just havent heard.
Also, the c*nt that pissed on my tent and woke me up at T in the Park the last year I camped there (this incident being the deciding factor).
When questioned with a (surely more than justified) "What the fuck?!", he said, I swear to god:
"What? Its not like I am pissing INSIDE your tent!..."
:(
bloody hell. You should have said: "okay then, when I need a leak is it ok to have a slash up the side of your tent? Or maybe drop the kids off outside your porch?"
At least no-one walked over your tent like some utter twunt did at Reading in 2003. Urgh. Spent the whole morning buying new poles and trying to rebuild the bastard.