that you overhear.
here's mine
"twelve times a year andrew, you need to make sure it doesn't wear out your yellow ink cartridge"
that you overhear.
here's mine
"twelve times a year andrew, you need to make sure it doesn't wear out your yellow ink cartridge"
"Just explain that Julian's doing a report
on returns to supplier."
I didn't understand it.
I've been waiting to post in this, but no-one seems to speak in my office. Hmmm.
Who said that?
^5
You deserve it!
don't do it
don't do it
Wow. It was:
'Sienna or Keira?'
'What for? Re-populating the earth or tasting juices?'
why would either of them want to work for del monte?
"I think I'm coughing blood"
"does
anyone mind if i turn the air conditioning up in here?"
"yes i do you sweaty fat pig"
"matt, that's so stoner that i can't actually listen to it right now"
"checking it once cheking it twice, gonna find out whos naughty and nice"
by the horrendous morbidly obese fiend woman in front of me.
"Roger was that you standing outside my house last night touching yourself?"
@That taxi you ordered for me isn't here yet'
^in response I was thinking:
'Yes and what would you like me to do about it? Use my magic powers and sniff out where it is and when it will arrive?'
If this thread were office thoughts, it'd be a whole different thread.
So keep it hidden, sister.
I said it to myself. Under my breath
therefore it was the next thing I heard in the office. So it counts blud! It counts.
>_
"Here's the weather according to the BBC!"
"That hit me on the leg"
"No it fucking didn't"
"Yes it did"
"Well phone injurylawyers4U then, you muppet"
"shredding"
Fortunately this was relating to disposal of documents rather than 1980s guitar solos.
"this Friday morning? The 4th? What time?"
print, print, come on print, print, print i said.
.
"I didn't realise there were people still down there in Life In The UK and we're talking about people shitting on each other"
_
"the burger ones are fine"
...
"Umm yeah, that's 3.165."
A phonecall overheard.
whos donkey kong is that a nickname?
.
Discussion on my employers new logo.
"Iam trying to work out why one line is bigger than the other."
"Its good design."
"Looks shit if you ask me."
"you havent printed a p.o.d off have you colin?"
"no, no i havent"
.
"there's two honour killings. those are good."
"One isn't quite enough"
(in reference to Tunnock's tea cakes). I concurred.
.
"I shouted 'ere mate, you need a booster cushion, you're too small to drive a full sized car around, you need your car remodifying' through his driver's side window"
i'm afraid the system has completely shut down
"does anyone know if paul's in today?"
is Paul in?
I quite want to know.
"Why is he swearing at me,
when I have no idea what he is on about'
I feel today is going to be the day I walk out.
Will do!
I'm not back in there until 9 tomorrow morning, are you ok to wait?
.......
"although there's 5 of us in the car, driving from London to Amsterdam....."
"the other thing is, we need to keep a record of anyone that comes up"
"What dog was it?"
"I don't know"
for some reason i LOLed at this one.
Do the coffee mugs look more stained to you?
Yeah I think the dishwasher's broken
"To celebrate mediocrity - how ridiculous!"
"this container?"
"I can't take this anymore"
Me, to a colleague five seconds ago. She hasn't responded yet but her silence speaks volumes.
"where's the plastic thing?"
"there's no others in there?"
Overheard phonecall
.
"I can't smell"
has your dog no nose?
the answer in this case is 'terrible'
thats very important
I work in my office
alone.
Our search plan notes that this contains both units A and B
we would be grateful for your confirmation of the same. New paragraph.
Booooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiing
"ahhh fucking woman! She's so...wierd"
"She keeps going on about her daughter getting raped - don't wanna hear it!"
"Someone's pooped on it"
"Have you got a packing manual saved anywhere?"
"Yeah go to my W drive..."
"you don't get beef and horseradish, you get horseradish and beef"
i'm waiting
..
..
why is no-one talking?
oh, wait! someone's about to say something!
"that's why you're sponsoring a dog isn't it mrs oo-lee"
i don't know what that surname is meant to say i just typed it phonetically.
O'Leigh?
Probs
but it was like oooh-leee
oh! hooley. hooo-leee.
hahaha
apparently she also said "those foreign children that are coming here and stealing our jobs, i won't sponsor them. only your lovely dogs."
old people are bloody mad
i wonder how much old people leave to animals instead of their relatives in their wills per year.
"This inbox is spooky"
ahem
wut?
how can an inbox be spooky?
It just can
apparently
"how shit was that guy?
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus, he's one of the worst candidates I've ever interviewed"
"She's putting that you have really small ears into 'Scoop'!"
my boss just said POW WOW
shall i kill him?!
you should have a slo mo shoot-em-up battle
like in Spaced.
though i get the feeling that you are in no mood for horseplay with your boss.
trust me, i'm so not.
I'm debating to take a lunchbreak today.
"Who would you get a mortgage with?"
i'd like to say it's the most stupid thing i'd heard today
"no wait... leprechauns speak in riddles don't they"
My maths teacher colleague:
*fumbles for keys to the office we share*
*eventually puts key in lock*
*realises that office is open anyway and that I am in it, waving at him through the GLASS DOOR*
'oh. You're in. Right.'
I actually laughed
"WHEN WILL THE RLR BE UPDATED TO 11 DIMENSIONAL SPACE TIME DIMENSIONS?"
not strictly speaking the next thing someone's said
but i spoke to the receptionist after my appointment - just asked "how are you?"
the reply: "a bit moist"
"We were being right sheepish...
in the hair dye isle."
"oh, I thought we were getting
a buy one get one free there"
Referring to an asylum seeker who smuggled himself here to be with his wife, only for the Home Office to demand he goes back to London.
I'm not really into
rocky stuff like Chris De Burgh (It was don't pay the ferry man)
We just had a meeting
..and somebody used the phrase:
'I disagree with dignity in the workplace, personally'
"Uh-oh, it's nectarine time..."
Do you work with Klaire?
if only.
"What do you take to mean by year to date...
...does it start in January or last July?"
"you are crazy up to a certain point"
its
much quieter than yester...FUCK...hello your through to mike how can i help?
1.5 mins later
"So our insured vehicle has been damaged by an enraged bull?"
today is looking up
"Oh you big furry fucker"
do you work with gruff rhys's girlfriend?