Ring any bells?

"God, I loved fucking you lady! So much!"

Then tear your shirt off and bellow your lungs out for an inordinate amount of time.

Repeatedly?

sounds like every day in our office

turn to her and say loudly 'so I was thinking about that way cool game of tonsil hockey we played the other day at Glasto, and was thinking of upping the anti. You game?'

Thank me later.

it just means she deeply regrets it, just move on

Except replace 'Glastonbury' with 'nightclub' and 'hooking up with' with 'snogging and groping'

Haven't spoken to her in months.

'you can smile if you want, i wont leap up and grab you ;) '

If she says no, then drop your trousers and say "how about now?"

Repeat until naked.

and an Italian man with a guitar.

im afraid i'm no help, i just carried on not talking to her.

I accidently e-mailed someone I work with because they couldn't get a piece of work done on time "Its ok I know you're busty"

bit of a typo, should have been "I know you're busy", maybe I should spell check more often.

is talk to her.

not in a 'maybe we should talk about the other day' kind of way.

more in a completely trivial 'ho hum, nice weather, i'm off for lunch, t'ra for now', pretend-nothing-happened kind of way. just bypass the awkwardness. pretend it isn't there. if she still acts awkwardly it's her problem and you can just ignore it.

Contact has been made. Sweet awkward, awkward contact. In full hearing of everyone. And I managed to invent a word: as she was leaving, I mangled 'bye' and 'see ya' into a hideous blurted out 'BYE YA!', which, aside from being completely superfluous given she was just sitting down at the desk across fromme, is exactly the kind of sound a baby makes when dribbling over a rusk.

Today fucking SUCKS

this is the best thread in ages, its made me laugh so much :)

Sounds ideal. You fucked someone and they're not being annoyingly needy, looking for attention. I would welcome that.

You couldn't even manage a 'Hi!' for her?

i'm afraid of the adult world.

she made to someone else..even if you are in the other side of the office.

If she has been going to the gym, walk up to her nad playfully punch her in the stomach and go "wow..solid".

Worked for me.

Also, it helps if she has an alchoholic ex who works in the same place..so you aren't her worst memory

I did the gentlemanly thing and kept it to myself, even though i'd have earnt serious man points for not doing. Strangely she broadcast the goings on to her friends even though i was probably League One Play-Offs compared to her lower mid-table Premier League. She assumed that i'd be embarrased about people knowing i'd fallen asleep during cunningulus, FAR from it.

It's clearly over, for today at least.

I just walked across the room to the printer - making a sort of 'p-p-p-p-p' sound and accompanying goldfish shape with my mouth - and a whole lot of coins fell out of a hole that I didn't know existed in my pocket, down through the INSIDE of my trousers and spread out onto the floor, like a shity denim slot machine that was paying out.

Now, I haven't encountered this exact situation before, but scrambling around on the floor picking up coins that have dropped out of your threadbare pants is not a sexy look, right? RIGHT?! They weren't even mainly manly 50 pences - there was a lot of embarrassing pauperish copper in there

you shouldn't get with people that you work with. Its DAFT.

Simply incredible.

Please come work in my office, your comedy antics would brighten up my day no end!