A list of prototypal ‘uncle nob-‘Eds'':
* William Shatner
* Woody Allen
* David Hasslehoff
* Noel Edmonds
* Chris Tarrant
* Mario from Big Brother
Any less obvious examples?
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Scary-Uncle Syndrome
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* chris langham
mario seconded
mario thirded
...
...
i cant believe
you stole my 'scary uncle' theory and plastered it all over DiS without any mention of my good name.
anyway..
john peel: the uncle to beat all uncles?
bad uncles: jim davidson. enough said. worst. uncle. ever. the uncle to beat all neices and nephews
also for good...paul O Grady..he would be a fucking brilliant uncle.
sorry mike
I didn't know you made it up.
proper sorry.
i hope this is sarcasm
why arent you at work?
I'm proper, proper ill.
I kept throwing up last night...and my throat is knackered. I've also got 6 burning ulcers in my mouth.
P.s. of course it's sarcasm you muff.
...
not out tonight then?
no no no
Unless I'm better...but I feel like a dying flower at the moment, so I don't think it's going to happen.
Did you got Alex last night?
yeah
just a few quick drinks. bit boring. then bought a disgusting kebab, got in and ate it watching a recorded 300. self loathing a plenty this morning.
:D
Kebab and '300''?
Are you a member of the Jenkins clan now?
Or Charlie?
god.
im gonna make up for it today by scoffing plenty of shredded wheat and watching the critically acclaimed french thriller 'tell no one'.
You better.
Otherwise I'm revoking your Guardian Subscription cub-scouts badge.
...
...
Shatner would be amazing as an uncle
Wouldn't be too keen on Fred West.
or michael barryore
or michael jackson for that matter
Thats sort of implied
P.s. Gary Glitter is exempt from mention.
obligatory Frintzl
mention
* Des Lynham
* Des O'Connor
(Richard Whiteley not included...he would be a terrific uncle)
Des Lynham would be a really awkward stepdad
who you think is a bit of a cock, and he generally dissaproves of you
lol
But you still keep things civil to make Mum happy.
yeah just pretend you think hes alright
He still buys you 'Sum-41'' CDs for Christmas
he knows you dont like them
and want something else but just wants to wind you up. and hell ask 'you dont have it already do you?'
'I know your into these cool rock tunes,''
(said with a slight nudge and chuckle) 'I might even borrow it for myself''
This is more Depressing Dad territory now.
haha
this thread is great
he's too sexually ccharged though
you'd end up like hamlet
*rod stewart
*peter stringfellow
good uncles
*richard madely
*simon cowell
David Gest
scares the bejesus out of me.
He's also the weird uncle type who would perv on you after a few sherrys at various family events.
Richard Madeley?
"No, shut up now, nephew - uncle is talking!"
he's go up to you're new girlfriend
and say "hello, you're beautiful. oh, im not being weird. i would never touch you in a million years. its wrong. sick and wrong. not that you aren't attractive, i just don't see it. i mean i do but you're out of my age range. so i don't think of you in that way. SHUT YOUR FUCKING OUTH JUDY"
* your
*mouth
^ :D
"Tell your Auntie Judy to shut her fucking mouth
and that this isn't woman's business"
Henry Rollins would such a great uncle
^ i wish he was my uncle
Me too
My uncles are cunts :(
imagine the lectures he'd give you though
id love it
would take notes and stuff
^
it would be the first case
of Scary-Nephew if that ever came about.
...if he were my uncle
How do you mean?
John Fashnou
I can only think of awesome uncles
like Bill Murray and John Cusak
bill murray ftw
also, pete doherty and brian blessed
^ I would put Bill Murray in the camp of 'Scary Uncle''
No way
He'd be the one to buy you booze and fags and stuff and then talk to you about misanthropy and failed romantic liaisons when you're older.
Not the sort of thing you want to be discussing with an uncle
i stand by pete doherty
if your family is irish, you already have an uncle that talks and acts like him, but he also wears nice suits and has sex with models
My family is Irish, but I don't have an uncle like him
I do have a cousin who is really like him, however
all but one of my uncles are like him
but fat and fail
Axl Rose would be a terrible uncle
* Glen Matlock
^^ hahahahahaha
i can imagine hed always try to tell you about the 'pistols'
but you wouldnt want to know
"I mean, Lydon will try and tell you about the time he made me eat a spunk sandwich
but that's UTTER BOLLOCKS, RIGHT!?"
'If anything, I would be the FIRST to spunk in a sandwich and feed it to people,''
Sid never had the talent
i was the wild one, they just sat me down one day and said Glen, youve gotta calm down. at the time i was on another planet
you ever heard of the jam?
one day paul weller comes up and he's like "hey, you are the bassist from the sex pistols" and i was like "yeah mate" and shook his hand. paul weller"
'total cunt'
I was kicking dogs, spitting on Woolworths...
...being an absolute mental anarchist, really.
Gary Oldman would be the greatest uncle ever, right?
^ hate him.
Ray Winstone would be a bullion times better.
Ray Winstone would be great
"Don't leave the 'ouse wifaht yer fahkin' tool"
ray winston is a million times less irl mental though
and have you seen the firm? gary oldmans character is my dream uncle
Oldman plays it mental.
But Winstone is truly 'ard.
'Ard as pipes.
Also...Oldman is too much of a thesp for my taking.
i'm going to be brave and suggest danny dyer
hes like a older brother
whos just a bit of a wanker really, and wouldhave sex in your bed when you were younger
haahaha he sounds awesome
like someone who will get away with anything by being a bolshy cockney
and the admit to 'wiping it on the pillow''
...'but not to tell mum.''
oldman doesnt advertise special k
though does he?
No.
But Oldman flamboyantly smothers a potentially good role.
He's synonymous with over-acting. See 'Leon'', 'Meantime'' and 'Sid & Nancy'' as examples.
leon!!
that was amazing!
EEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYYOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The whole crick of the kneck...
...would have been better performed by Cheggers.
.
NNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!!!
^ fucking THIS
He's my favourite actor ever. Every time I take a pill (like an antibiotic or something from the doctor), I always pretend I'm Stansfield taking a hit.
sid and nancy is a fucking abomination
Can't believe you've missed
True Romance off the Oldman over acting list.
Oldman is just srsly fucking cool, though
Nooo...he's a cock in a box.
Good Uncles
Paul Simonen
Patrick Stewart
Brian Moore
Steve Claridge
i'm not sure about paul simonen
you'd have to hear him say "i was havin a jam with damo.."
steve claridge though
Stephen Fry, Fry, Fry, Fry
'Nuff said.
oh...and Sean Locke.
sean locke is a real actual uncle
that is a man who could easily be the brother of a parent
I know.
I thought it was an exceptional choice. I even have this aching feeling that he is my Uncle.
Ha ha ha
^ this is too good to be true though
I know.
It makes my heart bleed everytime I think about it.
he would be fantastic
^ I suspect the albarn stories
are going to be well down the list after Strummer/Jones and having a word with a certain short arse ex-housemartin about the Guns of Brixton bassline.
paul simonon was the coolest man ever
he still is fucking cool now, so yeah perfect uncle material
^ this
Chris Morris
now lets discuss this. he could fall into either category
Don't be silly
good uncle definitely
good PERSON, yes
good UNCLE?
great uncle
same with coogan and gervais
coogan would be a great uncle
^coogan yes
not so sure about gervais
hed be great
one you see occasionally, always has a few stories, embarasses the family in public with his annoying laugh, or saying something stupid
Yeah Sean Locke,
pretty sure he has the quintessential look of a good uncle.
^
Suggs
from madness
Not for scary, sorry
but good.
Jarvis cocker
^ good not bad.
no way
suggs would be a shit uncle.
you: what you doing this weekend uncle suggs?
him: not much. just dressing up like a giant ice-cube for birdseye
you: oh right
him: but dont forget all that cool music shit i used to do
you: yeah i spose
him: and that kareoke show on five
you: what?
him: ok, maybe not that
you: yeah, definalty not that.
him: come on, remember fun house, that was a great track?
you: house of fun you mean?
him: yeah that one too
True that
but...in his heyday...
I prefer Buster Bloodvessel.
He would be a brilliant uncle.
you could record him saying 'fatty'
and then play it to your fat friends
would have been good for
a shoulder carry, back in the day