Every once in a while I turn from mild-mannered music fan into a prize loud-mouth penis. Case in point: just then. John walked past. John is Kids Near Water’s bassist. We’ve not seen each other since the Exeter foursome supported The Icarus Line in Manchester over three years ago, yet he recognises me and we have a brief chat. You know, “How have you been… Looking forward to the show… Nice new record…” etc. But what do I then say as he’s walking away to take the stage? “You’d better not suck.” The enthusiasm drains from his face. “Um, okay… see you.” I drop my head, staring at the half-empty pint of Dutch lager on my left had and the clenched fist to its right, the same fist I should have rammed into my mouth a few seconds earlier. What a fucking dick I am.

“You’d better not suck”? It’s just unfair. This is KNW’s first show in the capital for aeons, and Mr ‘Critic’ has gone and jinxed the whole thing. Only, he hasn’t – KNW are awesome. Brian sings ‘til the top half of his lungs are pushing at his tonsils, and John most definitely does not suck, even once. A projector flashes cartoons from the new album’s artwork, the Cavebear doing whatever it needs to do to become Flying Panda. New songs are delivered furiously, the entire set over in what seems like fewer minutes than you or I have fingers. An explosive ‘Bang After Bang…’ has me turning to a colleague: “Listen, there’s a good line coming,” I say. “Did you hear it? Did you hear it?” I ask. “No. You were talking.” he replies.

Bollocks. I’m quite possibly drunk.

Quite how is a mystery though: an hour or so ago this crowd was awoken from its slumber by the quite frankly phenomenal Chariots, four ordinary looking lads from Watford way. Looks however are so often deceptive, and Chariots destroy any preconceptions based upon their aesthetic first impression in a nanosecond with some absolutely blistering hardcore. Vocalist Emile wrestles with his microphone, dragging it around as he paces circular strides on the floor, the stage left empty bar the drumkit. Every now and then he wanders close to front-row faces; when he’s there, they step back, safety threatened. Never have a band made such a first-time impression upon these senses of mine, however slightly blurred they’ve become through alcohol (ironically, Chariots are straightedge). Chariots’ intensity is immeasurable, and they claim to be having a bad show! I am dumbfounded. Their debut album Daybreak is out now. Buy it and enjoy night terrors for a month.

Anyway, Kids Near Water. What more do you want to know? Were they good? No, they were incredible. Should you buy the new album whilst shopping for Chariots’ effort? Hell yes, Cavebear Is Flying Panda is a must-buy record of the ROCK variety. If you’re unfamiliar with the band’s work think Hot Water Music if they toned down the familiar gruff and upped the melodies and vocal urgency. If they were American, KNW would be outselling the O.C.-approved emo outfits ten to one. Did I apologise to John? No, I didn’t. I finished my drink, bought another and departed come kick out time to visit another of Islington’s numerous watering holes (suffice to say that my Sunday morning was a world of pain).

So, um, sorry John. Great show. See you next time.